We arrived at the hospital around 11:45 pm. Our first stop was Triage. In Triage they asked me a bunch of questions- one of which was if I had any surgeries, which I answered no. A couple minutes later, the nurse came back and said, "You had your wisdom teeth removed and a hernia repair surgery?" She did not seem to happy with me. Sorry nurse, I didn't know wisdom teeth counted and I was born with the hernia and had surgery when I was like 5 years old AND if you already knew that, why are you asking me these questions? They also examined me to see how far along I was. In Triage, I was 5 cm, 100% effaced and at station 0. While in the tiny examination room, my contractions were becoming very powerful. Let me remind you that we did not exactly go through a birth class and although I knew it was important to relax, I did not exactly know how to breathe through the contractions. During one contraction I think I was tensing my entire body and arching in pain. The nurse in Triage showed me how to breathe and thankfully I picked it up very quickly and my husband was paying attention. That breathing really helped me the entire night and Justin kept reminding me to breathe.
Once they decided that they were going to admit me to the Labor and Delivery floor, they got a wheel chair to take me to my room. While being wheeled away, I got very nauseous and asked for one of those lovely green vomit bags. I think I vomited the entire way through the Labor and Delivery halls and into my room.
The next few hours were kind of a blur. The room was very dimly lit, the nurse would come in periodically to see how I was doing and to listen to Zach's heartbeat. My contractions were getting more powerful and were about 1 minute apart. I felt like I was in control and was relaxed. Justin was there right by my side the entire time. He was holding my hand and telling me what a great job I was doing and also reminding me to breathe. During labor, I was very aware of the time, but now, I cannot remember the exact timing of things.
It was around 2:00 or 2:30 am that my doctor arrived. She examined me and told me that she could not feel my cervix and that I was already dilated 10 cm! Excellent news! I had only been in the hospital for 2 hours and I was already dilated all the way! She told me that the only thing she felt was a little bulge, which was my bag of waters and asked me if I wanted her to break it. I asked for her opinion and she said that since I was dilated all they way, breaking my water would speed things up and I would be ready to push very soon. I was very shaky during this time and asked the doctor and she said that I was going through transition. I thought, okay, transition is suppose to be the hardest part and I am in it right now, I can do this! The doctor broke my water and then left. The nurse told me that when I felt the urge to push to call her.
This is when things started to get harder and more frustrating for me. How was I suppose to know if I had the urge to push? At one point, I got that urge and called the nurse in. She examined me while I pushed and said that they baby was still up there and was not ready for the full out pushing yet. She told me though that whenever I did get the urge to push to go ahead and do it and work him on down. Prior to going into labor, I had always thought that people did not like hospital births because there were so many people in the room and you did not have privacy. This was not my experience at all. The entire time during the labor, it was just me and Justin in the room. The nurse would come in periodically and do her assessments and then leave. During this point, when I felt the urge to push, I wanted other people in the room. I wanted a nurse there telling me exactly when to push and how to push. At one point I even called the nurse in and it probably seemed like I begged her to stay in the room. She had mentioned that it was a very busy night on the floor and that every single labor room was filled. At one point she said that she was going to be right back and use the bathroom. I knew that she was leaving and wouldn't be back for a while. I could see why a midwife would have been helpful during this time. A midwife would have been with me during the entire labor and coaching me along with my husband. But, I did not have a midwife and I was very happy with the doctors that had been with me throughout my entire pregnancy.
For the next couple of hours I would push during a contraction. This stage, looking back on it, seems pretty bizarre. I was so exhausted at this point that I was actually falling asleep in between contractions. The contractions were a minute apart and so powerful, yet I was so tired that I would fall asleep. I would ask Justin and the nurse a question and would fall asleep while they were talking to me. I was also emotionally tired and was beginning to feel like I couldn't do this anymore. I told Justin that I didn't know if I could do it and was thinking that if I knew it was going to be this painful, maybe I should have gotten an epidural. I was also frustrated because it seemed like I was moving along so quickly, why was he not out by now? I was very 'in the zone.' You always hear how people's true colors come out during labor and how wives are yelling at their husbands. I knew that I would not yell at Justin, but there were times he went to touch my leg and I would firmly say, "Don't touch me there, touch my hand." Or you would bring up some random conversation that I really did not want to talk about and I would say, "Don't mention that now." The only places I wanted to be touched during labor was on my hand and him stroking my head.
Around 5:00 or 5:30 am the nurse came in with my doctor and my doctor said, "Are you ready to have this baby?" I was so surprised and just said yes! The nurses got everything ready for delivery and they instructed me that when I had a contraction to take a deep breath and push. They would count to 10 and then have me take another deep breath and push. I did this breathe and push 3 times per contraction. The doctor told me to get in a crunch-like position and push toward a light on the ceiling. I didn't exactly know what that meant, but the doctor was every encouraging and told me that I was pushing correctly. After a couple rounds of pushing 3 times, I was frustrated that he was not out yet. I had this expectation in my mind that I would only do 3 pushes and my baby would be out. Or I would only be pushing for half an hour and he would be out. At this point I had been up all night long and was so exhausted. The doctor would encourage me to push harder and keep going, but I was so tired that I just couldn't do it. It seemed like forever. It seemed like I would push and push and would not make any progress, although he was crowing more and more with each push.
The doctor a couple times encouraged Justin to look! Now Justin is not a medical guy at all and I knew that he was probably thinking, "No way, I don't want to look!" But he was great and he would sneak a peak at the head coming out. My mom had warned me that the 'ring of fire' [ when the head was making its way out] was the worst part. Since I was so tired and didn't have a whole lot of strength and energy, the babe was actually stuck in the ring of fire [or so it seemed to me!] Throughout all this pushing, I just kept telling Justin to pray. I was wanting him to cry out to Jesus for this baby to come out. At 5:00 am I even told him I wanted him to start calling people and wake them up and tell them to pray. He had texted Debbie who was up most of the night praying and then didn't have time to call anyone else because that was when the doctor came in and we got down to business.
Finally, at 6:47 am, when it seemed like I couldn't push anymore, I had one final push and the next thing I knew there was a baby boy being lifted and and placed on me. The feelings that followed were so overwhelming. I couldn't believe that I actually did it. I couldn't believe that it was actually all over. I was so happy that this little boy was finally in my arms and we had made it. There were tears by both parents. The doctor asked Justin if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. Previously, Justin made it very clear that he did not want to cut it, despite my reasons trying to convince him otherwise. The hubs did cut the umbilical cord! It was such a joyous moment, holding my son and seeing his eyes looking back up at me.
finally in my arms
love at first sight.
weighing the big boy.
getting checked out.
first time Justin held Zach.
our new family of 3!
I would like to say that it was pure joy and pain-free from here on out, but it was not. The doctor was having trouble getting my placenta out. It was not coming out naturally like it should have been, so she had to manually take it out. Ouch! I don't know how long it took, but it was probably a good 30+ minutes of her pushing down hard on my stomach and then doing who knows what to get it out. I thought that the contractions and pushing were the painful part and that once he was out it wouldn't hurt. Nope, the pain continued until she got it all out and stitched me up. I did end up tearing and having a 3rd degree tear, which is pretty big, but it was worth it.The nurses kept commenting on how big our baby boy was. When they finally weighed him, he weighed in at 9 lbs. 2 oz! Wowzaa!! No wonder I tore and no wonder it took so long for me to push him out. Everyone was shocked at his size. My doctors never predicted that he was that large and no one could actually believe it until he was there in person. I still find it very hard to believe that I birthed a 9 lb. baby and a 9 lb. baby with no drugs! We are so thankful to the Lord for protecting both me and Zach during the delivery process. The nurse commented how his heart rate stayed steady the entire time during the delivery. She said that most babies' heart rates drop during delivery, but Zach's stayed the same throughout the entire time.
Now that I have been through the whole labor and delivery process, I have mixed feelings about it. I know that it was by far the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. It was extremely painful. But then I think back to it and I think it wasn't that bad. But also thinking back on it, I'm not so sure if I could do it again. I'm still trying to process all these feelings and emotions.
On a final note, the doctor told Justin that no one should ever say that I am not a tough or strong lady! Those are not words usually associated with me in terms of physical strength.
Thank you for all your prayers leading up to the delivery. We are truly thankful to the Lord for bringing Zach into the world and for protecting us. Even though it may not have been at the timing that I wanted, the Lord's timing was the best. We are so in love with our little boy and are enjoying this precious time with him.
Stay tuned for our first couple days with Zach....
